July 20, 2022
“We Were Discussing Jeeps”: A Prayer
O Lord, we were discussing Jeeps, my son-in-law and I,
he being a big fan of Jeeps,
(they have three now,
one for him,
one for Jennie,
one for Emma too),
works on them,
repairs them,
modifies them,
so we often
talk about Jeeps
when we get together for pizza,
like we did a few weeks ago,
no cancer conversation,
no political pontificating,
no discussions dividing,
just talking,
Dan and Jennie and Emma and Ethan
and Kitty and I, just
talking,
telling tales,
tittle-tattling,
listening and laughing,
going from baseball to
college to summer job to recipes to Jeeps and more,
everyday conversations about
everyday things, and it was
wonderful,
because
for 2 or 3 hours there was
no cancer,
no worry,
no cloud,
just a family
sitting around a kitchen table
being family;
and loved it,
because
for those few hours
I got to take a break from myself, and how
I needed to take a break from myself,
needed to take a break from
thinking about it,
worrying about it,
talking about it, cancer,
how I’m doing,
how I’m feeling,
how I’m taking
what I’m taking,
a break from
living inside myself,
gauging,
analyzing,
sensing,
how I’m doing,
how I’m feeling,
how I’m taking
what I’m taking,
telling myself,
reassuring myself,
convincing myself,
that I’m just fine,
then
questioning,
wondering,
doubting;
that’s the thing about cancer, hard not to
think about yourself,
get lost in yourself,
talk to yourself about yourself,
non-stop,
and so
just being a family
for a few hours was
so refreshing,
because
did forget,
came out of myself,
thought about others,
talked about other things,
took a break from myself.
And then, Lord, there was that lunch last week, a lunch out
after months of never going out for lunch,
a lunch out
with friends,
face to face, not
screen to screen,
a couple of refreshing hours,
because,
after a brief update all around,
ordinary conversation, all of us
outside ourselves,
being ourselves,
enjoying ourselves,
an infusion
of a different kind,
and infusion of
normalcy
(despite the oxygen, felt normal,
no one around us having a clue –
sweet!); and
an infusion of
love
(dear friends who dearly love each other); and
an infusion of
hope
(hard to despair when in such company);
so need to
get out more,
get with others more,
get to living more,
because
maybe not
immunotherapy, but
therapy still,
building up immunity to
unhappiness, self-pity, depression.
And this is my prayer, O Lord, that, if for whatever reason,
we have a tendency
to live within ourselves,
to live within our troubles,
to live within our worries and fears,
then you would
grace us with the
strength,
determination,
resolve,
to
get out,
get out of ourselves,
get out of our troubles and worries and fears,
prod ourselves,
push ourselves,
provoke ourselves,
to get on with life,
no matter
how restricted that life may be,
and cherish everyday moments with others, moments
that refresh and renew.
And, Lord, on those days when we wonder if our prayers
do any good, help us
to keep praying, praying for
the people of the Ukraine, and for
those who are ill or receiving treatment,
those who are suffering or hurting,
those who are dying,
those who are grieving,
those who are struggling,
and the hungry and homeless and all the refugees.
Let peace descend, bring healing and comfort, lift all in
hope.
O Lord, thank you for Jeeps and pizza and kitchen tables
and lunches with friends.
Thank you for
extraordinary ordinary things
that give us a break from
ourselves.
Thank you for
those moments
that are untroubled
by the troubles that so trouble us,
and we can enjoy being something other than
our troubles.
Amen.