August 10, 2022
“We Found Out What It Costs”: A Prayer
O Lord, we found out what it costs, what my
immunotherapy costs,
and we were
aghast,
astounded,
appalled,
because
amount amounts to
absolutely astonishing
amount,
as in
$68,000.00 a pop,
as in
per infusion,
as in
got to be kidding;
immediate reaction
thankfulness
that we have
insurance,
but right on the heels of that came a question:
What do people do if they have
no insurance?
and yes,
assistance available, but
still could lose
everything;
and don’t forget
hospital costs,
as in
$300,00.00, $400,00.00, and more (“Step right up and
spin the wheel. Where it stops nobody knows”),
as in
not including surgeon,
as in
got to be kidding; and
remember cost of
prescriptions,
as in
fainting,
as in
ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching,
as in
got to be kidding;
but not kidding,
and so,
thankful
but
muted,
tempered,
restrained,
because
others
not so fortunate,
not afford treatment,
not able to pay for drugs;
and speaking of treatment,
sitting in the infusion room being infused,
seeing what those on chemo going through,
side effect sights,
wigs and caps and turbans,
walkers and wheelchairs,
some so thin,
some so weak,
some so miserable;
not the first time
seen such things,
but sitting there as a patient
different,
hooked-up myself,
drip, drip, drip,
blessed bag blessing
with hope I hope,
could be me I see, yet
not me,
few side effects,
growing stronger,
no pain,
thankful,
to be honest,
not me, but
thanks
muted,
tempered,
restrained,
because of what I see in that room;
and if my
PET scan shows
progress,
infusion working,
cancer receding,
so very thankful,
yet muted, tempered, restrained, because of those with
not good report,
cancer spreading,
not make it, maybe;
and same with
joy and praise,
yes, but no,
not fully;
it’s those others again.
O Lord, that’s the trouble with trying to be Christian, it’s
that neighbor business,
that bearing one another’s burdens bit,
that “least of these” lesson, a real zinger;
that’s the trouble,
others,
can’t get them out of my mind,
can’t help but
feel for them,
fear for them, want to
fend for them;
that’s the trouble,
others,
calling up memories of
others
now gone, and
I do remember, remember every last one and
what they went through, still
with me, a part of me,
still see them;
that’s the trouble,
others,
then and now,
leaving me with
a jumble of feelings,
thankfulness and heartache and joy and sadness and grief,
worry and praise and sorrow.
And this is my prayer, O Lord, that if we enjoy
good fortune,
good health,
good insurance,
we do not forget
those who don’t,
and not only
pray for them
but pray too that
in a land of
trillion dollar budgets,
billion dollar state surpluses, billion dollar drug profits,
billionaires a dime a dozen, and
millions of Christians proud of how Christian they are,
we find a way (no, I’m not talking socialism),
we find a way (I’m talking about being
what Christians, what human beings,
what Americans should be),
we find a way (I’m talking about
serving Christ),
a way for the least among us to be treated with
the most
compassion,
kindness,
care.
And we remember too, O Lord, the people of the Ukraine, and
those who are ill, who are hurting, who are dying,
who are grieving, who are struggling, and
especially the homeless, the hungry, the refugees.
Strengthen, heal, comfort, uplift, and give them hope.
O Lord, we found out the cost and we were appalled, and
troubled,
troubled by the thought of
others;
keep troubling us, Lord,
until at last
others
have as much reason to
give thanks, rejoice, and praise you,
as we do.
Amen.