Sighing Sighs Too Deep for Words: A Prayer
(Wednesday, July 8, 2020)
O Lord, there are days, there are days,
days
when perhaps
more than a few of us
are flat
played out and prayed out,
when
we’re so tired of it all
we can’t see straight,
when
the words
just won’t come,
no prayer comes,
only sighs,
sighs too deep for words.
There are days,
there are days,
days
when we’re just plain tired
of being locked down,
locked up,
locked in
our homes,
ourselves,
our heads,
trapped in our heads,
held captive by our thoughts,
a jumble of thoughts,
thoughts ricocheting off thoughts,
thoughts not thought through,
angry thoughts
angering us even more;
and just plain tired of
being afraid,
being scared,
being worried,
fear exhausting,
despair lurking,
nothing certain
except the certainty
that nothing will be certain
for a long,
long time.
There are days, there are days,
days
when we’re just plain tired
of the chaos
and the divisiveness
destroying this land,
the hatred still voiced by more than a few,
even stoked by politicians,
races
no closer
than years ago,
prejudice alive and well and
taught.
And there are days, there are days,
days
when we’re just plain tired
of the fantasyland
that is our culture,
no truth,
nothing real,
no God,
(really, that’s true, many say)
only lovely lies we love to love;
so tired of a culture built on
a fairytale –
Mirror,
mirror,
on the wall
who’s the fairest or greatest or… (fill in the blank)
of us all?
Why me, of course, me, me
ME!
There are days, there are days,
days
when we’re flat
played out
and prayed out
because
there is no end in sight –
the coronavirus,
the racial turmoil,
the deadly divide –
no end in sight,
no words,
no prayers,
only sighs,
sighing sighs too deep for words
sighing for an end
to come into sight,
sighing for a beginning that will truly be
the beginning
of the end
of what must end
if there is to be
a beginning
that won’t end up to be
the re-run of the re-run of the re-run
seen by generation
after generation
after generation,
with
no end in sight.
O Lord, how we need the Spirit
to refresh us,
to sustain us,
and above all,
to pray
what our wordless prayers pray,
to carry
our sighs
unto you,
and give words to our sighs,
so that,
even though you know what we need before we ask,
you hear us ask
and you know
that we truly desire what our sighs are sighing for,
that we
truly want
an end to come into sight,
truly want
to be people through whom you can
bring an end
and work a new beginning,
truly want
to be your people who are
part of your solution, not
part of the problem.
Hear
our sighs
and grace us with
the courage it takes,
the faith it takes,
the love it takes,
to bring an end into sight,
to do those things we know will help
bring an end to the spread of the virus,
and those things we know will
bring an end to injustice,
to actually
think
about others
and stop
putting them at risk,
to actually
think
about the prejudices we harbor still
and start
changing
our opinions and thoughts and attitudes,
to actually
think
about what we believe as believers
and stop
loving the lovely lies
and start loving your truth more.
O Lord, transform our sighs into shouts,
shouts
of joy!
The joy of seeing
the coronavirus stopped in its tracks
as we do the right thing;
the joy of seeing
healing come to those battling the virus;
the joy of seeing
support
for those caring for them,
comfort
for those who mourn
strength
for those struggling.
The joy of seeing
people coming together,
hearing one another,
finding hope in one another, and
together
doing the right things to bring this nation
together.
The joy of seeing
that at last
the end
is in sight!
Amen.